Government Spank-Stress Test

The federal government officially released today the results of the bank-stress test, along with the lesser-publicized kitty spank-stress test. While both studies are a key measure of how financial firms and finicky felines alike will fare in today’s rough environment, those that were subjects of these findings pounced quickly to downplay the results.

The vast majority of cats denounced the notion of these spank-stress tests, saying they would much prefer to be gently petted or have their fur combed thoroughly as opposed to having their stress levels put to the test with spankings. Human owners however disagreed with the claims made by cantankerous kitties, suggesting that spanking feisty felines provide a much-needed therapeutic outlet when having to deal with the results of the bank-stress test.

As the interview photo below shows, house cats Jinx and Latte were not amused. They were down-right apathetic.

Apathetic Cats